Communication is a very complex process. When we’re very young we have no means of verbal communication, we have to use our body language, displays of emotion and any other means we can find until we develop our linguistic ability.
Even at such a young and vulnerable stage in life, we still communicate with our actions as opposed to words. But as we learn our native languages there is a distinct switch where words start becoming our preferred vehicle for communication, as opposed to our actions.
There’s nothing wrong with verbal communication providing it aligns with your behavioural communication as well. I know as you read this your mind will undoubtedly be cast back to times where you’ve encountered a misalignment in one’s words and actions. This is incredibly common, alas. And the effects are often damaging. You’re told so much of something, to never see practical evidence of it.
They’ll tell you it is the way they’re making it out to be and trust their words, but your better judgement doesn’t see the evidence. They’ll say your suspicions are unfounded but your instincts scream otherwise. They’ll say you’re over-analysing the situation and that the views of others, who agree with your questioning, aren’t worth as much as their measly words.
What do you do in this situation? The benefit of the doubt is worth a lot but at what expense, your mental well-being?
Inner torsion is a form of subtle torture and seeing one thing but being told another will produce a high amount of said torsion. This torsion is mental torsion; the worst kind. Exposed to this too long, you can end up with some severe insecurities and a general doubt of everyone you come into contact with.
This can be amplified further when it involves those closest to you. Being told affectionate words by someone you yourself think very high of, to then not see evidence of said words is a mindfuck, simply. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re worth more. Much more.
Words are used to shut people up. Someone questions the intent of your behaviour and you don’t want them catching on? The fix is simple: quickly attempt to reassure with clever assortments of words. It’s easy. It takes nothing. You can change what you say far quicker than you can change the person you are.
The light among the dark
Awareness is always power. If you see something enough to question it, then question it! Confront these people but know they will more than likely make you feel bad for doing so; this is their defence mechanisms kicking in. Do they want to be caught out? Hell. Fucking. No.
As intimidating a prospect as this may be, it’s a form of self-preservation. Finding out much later that your suspicions were right marrs you with the regret of not trusting your own judgement. And I ask, is there a more self-respecting position than that of standing true to your values and not accepting treatment you deem unjust?
Developing this level of self respect is a springboard for greater success with future relationships – be it romantic, friendship, business, financial or anything else. The self respect you acquire here will cause the world to match it. Humans are very good at deciphering the weak from the strong and where opportunity lies. It’s like we’ve got built in exploitation mechanisms deep within our brains. We know who the easy targets are and who not to mess with.
A person with deep rooted values that knows what they’re deserving of will automatically receive more respect from the world around them. Does this mean to say they’ll not be tried? Of course they will but they’re armed with a far better defence than those of us who see warning signs but fail to assert themselves enough to confront them.
Having these rigid checkpoints in place makes it much harder to fall victim to those whose intentions for us are not good. You’ll not fall to those who want your involvement in their life to support an image, or purely for their own success. Or maybe they just need an escape – and you’re that escape until they no longer need it. Or maybe they don’t know their own head and therefore tell you things they don’t even know are true themselves. Maybe they will tell you your importance, to then behave in a manner that yells utter disdain, where even basic respect has long since faded. Or, worse still, they’ll sell you as someone they’re not; a complete lie.
Protecting yourself from sickness and sick people is paramount in the modern world. Know it exists and know the ultimate form of protection is self love, care, respect and above all…….that actions overshadow words on a scale so large it’s difficult to comprehend but once you begin to see it, things get better and the future can only be a prettier painting.
The 'brains' behind StraightTalkingFitness, a site all about discovery that leads to strength in all formats; fitness, mental, emotional and spiritual. Everything starts from within and projects outwards. Master the body, master anything and everything.